FIXED IT! YES!
Platforms now work flawlessly. Though i'm curious as to how it will work on other people's computer.
Basically, i used a technique i learned from my Game Maker days. When a platforming object is overlapping a platform, move it up until it is no longer overlapping the platform and is perfectly standing on it. Had to make a special 2-pixel high collision mask for the player to make this work because if i used the whole player sprite as the test, you would stand on a platform and if another one passes over you, the player would levitate up to the next one. This seems like it works well enough until the Construct guys iron out the problem on their end.
Anyways, go download the new version on the original post! I think even you can pass it now Deadeye.