Okay... maybe that isn't fair. Perhaps there are certain breeds of lizard that can be trained and taught tricks. I'm not talking about those lizards. I'm talking about Anoles, and they are certifiably braindead.
I enjoy biking and there are plenty of places close to where I live that are nice to ride through, but no matter where you go you have to contend with these little three to four inch lizards called "Anoles" that love to sit and sun on the sidewalk.
The reason why I say that they are so stupid is because apparently whenever a threat approaches an Anole its brain can process one and only one response;
"Turn 180 degrees, and then run like crazy in a straight line."
All well and fine if the threat is approaching from directly in front of you.
But the ridiculous thing is that oftentimes they will be on the righthand side of the road and facing the right, so when they see me coming they panic and do the only thing that their little brains can think of, which is to run directly underneath my tires.
If they had stayed still, or better yet... ran forward they would still be alive. But nooooooo. Evolution can't be bothered to take notice of large, moving pieces of metal and rubber.
So... Anoles are dumb. Really, REALLY dumb.